A Couple of Half Brothers
by Eugena
Summary: Between the two Pretender movies, there is a little spoof known as . . . script format . Rated "T" for implied incest theme think typical Lyle .


Between the two Pretender movies, there is a little spoof known as

**A Couple of Half Brothers**

Enjoy,

Eugena

Disclaimer: The Pretender rights are owned by Imagiquest, TNT, NBC and FOX.

Rated "T" for implied incest theme (think typical Lyle)

Spoilers: Island of the Haunted promos and Pretender 2001

****

Jarod and Ms. Parker are caught by Raines' sweeper team.

RAINES: Good evening, my children.

MP: Children?

RAINES: I'm your father

Jarod and Ms. Parker looked shocked

MP: Both our fathers?

RAINES: Yes.

Jarod looks particularly distressed.

MP: (in shock, coming to logical terms with the event:) That means . . . we just . . . we're related?

RAINES: Jarod is your half-brother

JAROD: Couldn't you have just left that out? (Looks at MP) We're related?

LYLE enters, standing triumphantly next to MP.

LYLE: (happily:) That means you're only my half-sister. (Moves closer to MP) I always said you were beautiful when you're angry. (Smiles devilishly)

JAROD: (disgusted:) Lyle, she's your sister. You've always known -

LYLE: (interrupting him:) I haven't always known. Now I don't feel so bad about my feelings for her.

MP: (in more disgust than JAROD:) Get away from me!

LYLE: Didn't stop you, Jarod.

RAINES: (smiling) I always knew that the best way to duplicate myself was to have my children have children.

MP: I can't take this. I need a cigarette!

JAROD: What about your ulcer? What if you're pregnant?

MP: Can it, lover boy!

JAROD: (in awe:) She called me lover boy.

LYLE: Stop gloating.

MP: Daddy! (A realized pause) I mean Mr. Parker!

Mr Parker (PARKER) enters on cue.

PARKER: You'll always be my angel. I knew you were never my daughter, but I still love you.

JAROD: You're going to believe his lies?

PARKER: Shut up. I told you to stay away from my daughter. (Moves to comfort MP) I know all of this must be hard on you.

MP: Hard on me? I slept with my half-brother!

PARKER: You slept with Mirage?

JAROD: (annoyed:) His name is Ethan. He's our - Ms. Parker's half-brother.

PARKER: He is your half-brother, too.

JAROD: (Looks at RAINES) How is that possible?

PARKER: He is the child of my wife and Major Charles.

RAINES: (dramatic:) Lies, lies, all lies!

JAROD: I'm not Raines' son?

PARKER: Thank God, no. If anything, you are Sydney's son.

JAROD: Am I?

PARKER: That's best not addressed now. We might get another movie out of it.

All cast cheer briefly while fans shout, "More Pretender Movies!"

LYLE: But dad, why would Raines say Jarod was his son?

PARKER: Because he believed Jarod was his son. The truth is you are his son.

RAINES: (agonized:) No! I wanted Jarod to be my son. Backstabbing son, he has my thumb!

JAROD: (ignoring RAINES, to MP:) Mr. Parker telling the truth? I'm impressed.

PARKER: (to JAROD:) Alex tried to kill us. I couldn't let my Angel die without knowing. And why would he want to kill her?

JAROD: (confident:) She was pursuing me and was Raines' daughter.

MP: You mean he wasn't pursuing me for me?

JAROD: (jealously annoyed:) Don't even suggest it!

LYLE: (Moves to MP) Hey, sis, why not drop him? We'd be great together.

PARKER: Lyle, I know some excellent Centre psychologists -

LYLE: I'm not going to be one of Sydney's patients.

PARKER: I was thinking more of RAINES, your father.

LYLE runs off.

PARKER: (To RAINES:) You should go after him.

RAINES: I was more interested in Jarod and Ms. Parker's baby.

MP: I am not pregnant!

JAROD: Would it be that bad?

MP: Would the Centre be chasing it to be a pretender?

PARKER: We'd have another movie.

LYLE runs in briefly to say, "More movies, more movies!" JAROD is dancing to the 'more movies' beat.

MP: Count me out!

EVERYONE ELSE: WHAT?

MP: My maternal instincts are kicking in. Leave my child alone!

JAROD: (happy) So, you are pregnant. (Embraces MP)

RAINES: My grandchild!

PARKER: My grandchild! I raised her like she was my own daughter.

Mr. Parker and Mr. Raines begin arguing.

JAROD: Father-in-laws.


End file.
